Heero is not Toast [& Other Gundam Wing Facts]
  Heero is not Toast!!!!!!!!
more questions and my deflating answers

a note: yes, these are all authentic, sent in through email and AIM. i try to put every question i get sent up here, but if you don't see yours, don't hate me! i'm just busy and probably missed it. i don't reply to your question emails, either: i just answer here. got it? good. newer questions at the bottom.

~Taco's Question~
    Q: If heero is not toast, then is duo?
    A: Possibly. Does your toast have a braid?
    Q: Yes!
    A: Ok...then it's Duo. But it is not - it is MOST CERTAINLY - YOU GOT THIS? - NOT Heero.

~Lin's Question~

    Q: Yamato, what do you put in a toaster?
    A: Toast.
    Q: NO! BREAD!!!!!!
    A: ...shut up.
    Q: Toast is cooked bread. So bread is Heero.
    A: All right...fine. BUT HE IS NOT TOAST! Go away now and shut up!

~Taco's 2nd Question~

    Q: When i threw my toast, it flew, then a mechanical bird caught it and flapped away. is it heero yet?
    A: HEERO IS NOT TOAST!! And WHEN was Heero ever caught by a mechanical bird?! NEVER!!!! SO HEERO IS NOT YOUR TOAST!!!!!
PS: HEERO CANNOT FLY AND NEITHER CAN TOAST! YOU MORON!

~Lin's 2nd Question~

    Q: Yamato, if my toast is NOT heero, then who is it? ;_; is it mewtwo? or galaxia? or maybe heero's second cousin, bob?
    A: It might be Mewtwo. Galaxia is in Sailor Moon and toast is also in Sailor Moon, so yes, Galaxia is toast. Bob? Bob is related to Heero [who, in fact, is not toast], so NO Bob is not toast. Bob's child might be toast, though...if he married some bread.

~Salsa's Question~

    Q: i was walking and i saw a piece of toast screwing duo. Is it heero?
    A: No. Heero is not toast.
    Q: well...then why was the toast screwing duo?
    A: BECAUSE IT'S PERVERTED!!!!!!

~Kiwi's Question~

    Q: My toast enjoys wearing black spandex shorts and a green tank top. Is it Heero?
    A: No, but that is some odd toast you have there. It is, perhaps, a fan of Heero??

~Tommy-chan's Question~

    Q: If he's not toast, how come you have so many pictures of him as toast?  (hides behind couch)
    A: Because...ahh...ahh...SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! NEXT!!

~Sunny's Question~

    Q: *hears a voice from the kitchen*
Voice: I am heero! No matter what she says! If you put me in the toaster I'll kill you!
...
    A: Ah...well see, that means Heero is in your kitchen and someone is trying to put him in the toaster! Someone who THINKS he is toast! GO SAVE HIM! ><.

~Rocket Blue's Question~

    Q: Heero is the death guy, right? One time I burned my toast REALLY bad, and I threw it in the garbage, and it was so hot it caught the paper in the garbage on fire. Then it spread to my guinea pig cage...and umm...voila, death.
    A: Duo is the death guy. Moron. v_v. That toast was Duo. DUH.

~CassidyGTM's Question~

    Q: Um...Yamato, if Heero is not toast, then why is my toast currently holding a gun to my head and calling my Relena Peacecraft???
    A: Because it thinks you are ONE UGLY PERSON, THAT'S WHY! Who wouldn't want to kill Relena Peacecraft? Maybe you want to consider a makeover, some plastic surgery...? Otherwise EVERY piece of toast will be after you with guns.

~James' Question~

    Q: If heero isn't toast, am I?
    A: Um, well...Heero, my friend, would NOT be toast, in fact, so...no, I'm sorry.

~AnitPerez's Question~

    Q: If Heero is bread why can't he be toast?
    A: OH GOD! FINE! Shut the hell up! He's NOT BREAD OR TOAST! He's...an...egg!
    Q: If heero is not toast then why is he an egg?
    A: BECAUSE I SAID SO!! THIS IS MY SITE!!
    Q: Is Relena toast?
    A: YES!!

~Raz Beryl's Question~
Q: Once, my toaster blew up, then my toast came out, and it's hot. And I happen to know for a fact that once, Gundam Wing blew up, then Heero came out, and he's HOT *drools and swoons*. So, does that make my toast Heero???
A: You are warping the definition of "hot", my friend!

~Sanndea's Question~
Q: I have a problem. I don't think my toast is Heero. Neither do I think that the two can even be considered similar... However, my toast thinks he is Heero, which is extremely troubling, as it has stolen my spandex, carries a gun and mutters threateningly.  Any advise?
A: That is a sad story, my dear...let's see...[shameless advertising] Show it my site!! ^ _ ^. [/shameless advertising]

~Merle's Question~

    Q: Okay, here's my question.  I am a fifteen year old girl with somewhat of a masculine build.  I have long brown hair that is always in a braid, and I'm always wearing black.  One day, out of lord-knows-where a piece of toast comes up and starts screwing the hell out of me.  That's it, I'm convinced. That piece of toast was Heero!
PS, The little 'un test was positive.  Know of any good child support programs?
    A: Uuuuhhh...that wasn't Heero, it was SCREWED UP BREAKFAST FOOD! Now I'm not the abortion supporter of the year, but maybe you'll want to do something about you little human-toast hybrid child..........yea.

~Val's Question~

    Q: Yamato ~ If my toast answers "I will kill you" to anything I say to it, is it Heero?
    A: No. But it is very mean. :p

~Ender Ishida's Question~

    Q: i was just eating a piece of toast wile looking at your reasons why hiiro is not toast, and it keped scroling back up to the top... does my toast want me to think that it's hiiro?
    A: No. It just loves the bad artwork. =D
    Q: and... theoreticly hiiro is toast. if you use "toast" in the context of "you are toast" (meaning you will die) and you take into thought that everyone dies eventualy. (yes even hiiro, even if he is the perfect soldier now (which he isn't, may i remind you that he failed in killing duo, quatre, reelena, treize, zechs, himself, and just about every other person on the show) old age will eventualy catch up to him (yes they age, in the endless waltz they are 16 wile in the series they're 15) and hell die of that. therefore HIIRO IS TOAST.
    A: ...and i thought you were cool for a second -_-. And you confuse me!! ;_;.!!

~MkOLiOz's Question~

    Q: My friend Patrick is convinced that Heero is a piece of toast. I tried to  convince him otherwise, but he is determined that he is toast. What shall I do?
    A: Shoot the moron and save the world =D
    [DON'T REALLY DO THAT x.x;]

~Trista's Question~

    Q: When i put cream cheese on it and ate it i choked. The it put a gun to my head and said it was going to kill me. Is my bagel heero?
    A: Eh...sounds like it.

~Fox Master Xellos' Question~

    Q: I have a question about my toast.  My toast has brown hair, wears green tank tops and black spandex and funky yellow high tops.  it runs around with Duo, flies wing gundam, and threatens to kill Relena but never actually does for some reason.  It also fights agaist an egg with yellow hair that wears a big ugly metal mask and flies Tallgeese and sets its own bones. It also screws Duo ocasionaly.  Is my toast Heero? I have another peice of toast that has bangs and you can only see one
eye-maybe that one's Heero?
    A: Well...that's a mouthful...your toast is OBVIOUSLY not Heero! It's acting more like Quatre =D! Or Trowa -_-.;

~Max's Question~

    Q: My toast has recently been in the news for many murders it has committed with the use of a hand gun, and after every person he kills he does his famous pose(Puts his hand in front of his face),and I always see him running around my house wearing green tanktops, and black shorts yelling, "Relina..I will kill you!" Is my toast Heero?
    A: Nope...geez, they kill people for bombing buildings, but not if you're a mudering toast...-_-. what is it with the American goverment?

~Rachael's Question~

    Q: My friend wanted me to ask you if my toaster was Heero.  You see, my toaster likes to burn things, is never where I last put it, and it makes creepy noises.  Oh yeah, it also BIT me!!!  SO, is it Heero?
    A: Heero does not bite u.u;;

~Miaka's and Duo's Question~

    Q: Miaka: Yesterday I saw a piece of toast in the library entering a book.
Is it Heero?
    Duo: No, baka! That was Treize! Didn't you see the eyebrows???? *rolls eyes*
    Miaka: Is Treize one of the four priests??? NO!!!! So, HA!
    Duo: Ah, but you've never seen him when he's not being OZ's leader! He is
REALLY the leader of an obscure cult in colony L13 which practices
cannibalism. Haven't you heard how he always says "Zeeeeeeeeeeeechs, I'll be
waiting for you to come and eat me!!!!" while standing atop a sea-side cliff
as the wind blows his skirt around?
    Miaka: No, I've never heard that, and I really didn't need to know that! But
Trieze is definitly NOT a priest in the "Universe of the Four Gods!" Heero,
on the other hand, might be.... I don't really remember the other two....
    Duo: Maybe you're just confusing Tamahome's voice..? I dunno.
    Nuriko: *drool* Tama-dear....
    Miaka: Hey! Where'd you come from?! You're not Xellos! You're not supposed
to randomly appear out of nowhere! Duo, are you accusing me of confusing
Tamahome's voice with this "Heero" guy?!?!
    Duo: Hey! What's wrong with Heero?????? Oh, hey, by the way, I SWEAR that as
I was eating my toast the other day (It was just the way I like it, too... a
little crispy outside, warm inside, slathered with butter....*drool*)
Anyway... I SWEAR it whispered "Omae o korosu!" to me as I bit into it. I
immediatly spit the piece back out and glued it on, then made a shrine in my
closet to the Perfect Toast, dressing it in Barbie spandex and Ken's muscle
shirt. Is this Heero? I really wanna know before I start callin' some
stranger 'koibito'..... (That'd be REALLY awkward, ya know? I tried it once,
with some weird guy on the street, but he just started hitting on me back,
and I didn't like him that much. He was followin' me around until two girls
in REALLY skimpy outfits appeared. One with pink hair had a really awesome
looking whip, and called him "Carrot". I thought that was Goku? Oh well. I'm
glad he didn't kiss me. Was HE toast????)
    A: Um...Heero Is Not Toast o_o. And leave Hikaru Midorikawa-chan OUT OF THIS! :p

~Venus' Question~

    Q: If Heero's not toast then why is he pale in the center and brown on top of  his head? .... seee? Now, who are you trying to convice that he's not toast?  Us or yourself? It's ok, Yamato... it's going to be ok...
    A: That might be true but it's not a crispy crust! ><. It's just fuzzies at the top! And it seems YOU are the one who needs convincing, my dear!

~Gai and Kurai's Question~

    Q: So we finally have the facts. Heero is, indeed, NOT toast (or bread for that matter) This knowledge has saved me years of heartache. But, certain questions do remain...You know that breakfast food called hole-in-the-bread? Where you take a piece of toast and slap an egg inside it... What if Heero was that egg? Wouldn't he then be toast..kinda?
    A: No. He would be an egg inside toast. o.o you know, i don't think he is an egg. Eggs are kinda gross and come from chickens. ><.

~Korine Ryuen's Question~

    Q: Okay, I know that heero isn't toast, I know that, but I'm a nurse at the Post  War Tramatic Phyco ward and I have Heero Yuy strapped to a bed because he keeps on chassing taost and yelling that he wants to be toast, and that he must have it.
The bands aren't working so good and I've been forced to call Duo Maxwell, what should I do and should I tell the Phyco that he is toast to calm him down?
    A: No. He is not toast. Send him here and hope for the best. o_o.

~Esthrus' Question~

    Q: My toast wears dresses and a backpack everywhere, has this weird wand and goes around hitting things and turning them into cards, a weird stuffed animal follows her around, and it seems to be nervous around me. Is it Heero?
    A: Um...maybe you should stop watching Cardcaptor Sakura and Gundam Wing one right after the other...it's done funny things to your brain. AND NO THAT IS NOT HEERO ><.

~Cherry's Question~

    Q: If we didn't eat food we'd all be dead, and Toast is a food and a hero is some super-guy who saves lives, does that mean Toast is Heero?! ^_^;; or am i mistaken?
    A: But Heero saves people all on his own. Toast is only part of this complete breakfast - WHICH MEANS IT IS HELPED BY CEREAL, JUICE, MILK AND STUFF! Heero is a complete breakfast all by himself. =D Stupid toast -_-.

~Neko-chan's Question~

    Q: One time I ate a toast that pic but a piece of it flow and stick into my eye , are you sure it wasn't Trowa?
    A: Trowa can't fly nor is he sticky. ;_;.

~Ngai's Question~

    Q: if u dont think that heero is toast..why do u go through all the trouble saying he's not? if u dont think he is yourself?
    A: Because other people are morons and think he is. It makes me sick. I'm doing a service to the WORLD! ...and of COURSE i don't think heero is toast. fool. u.u;;;;;... next question!!!
    Q: when heero is dead..isn't he toast?
    A: I SAID NEXT...oh. um. no he's not. he is NEVER TOAST!

~Riette's Question~

    Q: If Heero 'accidently' lit Relena on fire and shoot her with his Big gun thingie and chase her to the circus screaming 'Omea o Korosu!!!  all the while luaghing eeevily...and then 'by accident' reminds Quatre , who was visiting Trowa ^_~,  of his f...father and suddenly Quatre goes KrAzY and steals Catherine's knives and throw them at Relena going Muahahaha!!! All the time. Trowa hears the commotion and sees Relena ///_O  Loses his memory when Relena ran into him trying to escape Qautre and a still eeevil laughing Heero. Catherine is enraged and hunts Relena down like a wild animal. Duo comes by and sees Catherine banging Relena's head on the wall screaming "I'm gonna bang your bloody ass against this bloody wall until your bloody face is a bloody smear on da wall!!!!"....Duo goes up to Heero and asks what happened. Heero replies "It was the zero-systems fault I swear!!!" >.<ºo (DIE RELENA!!!) ...would Relena be toast???
    A: Um...yes. O_o.

~Ranny Bunny's Question~

    Q: hey! Just found the page and it's great, you even convinced me that heero is
not a toast, He's an EGG (you said it yourself) and Duo is a toast? Then
when they have sex we eat breakfast??
    A: SHHH! This isn't supposed to be a yaoi site! XD...but yes. ^_^.

~Neko-chan's 2nd Question~

    Q: hi!^^;;
You say Hiiro's not a toast but Duo is honey (I have a honey jar with his face on it to prove it) and he loves being spread all over toast...
So are you sure Hiiro's not a toast?
    A: Tempting as it sounds, no, Heero is not toast still.

~krazylady's Question~

    Q: Ok, if Heero, isn't toast, then is Relena toast, because toast has no friends, and nobody likes toast, and nobody likes Relena. So, is Relena toast at all? I know I'm a dummy...
    A: She might be ^^. I haven't stuck around her enough to check u.u;

~Twylise's Question~

    Q: My toast glows red and tells me to start fires. It has a little goatee,  horns, a tail and a pitchfork. Is it Heero?
    A: Maybe you should consult a priest, not me...

~Twylise's 2nd Question~

    Q: Is honey Quatre? Because it's sweet and non violent. But if it is why is Quatre living in my cubboard in a plastic jar?
    A: Quatre could very well be honey. But he is NOT living in your cupboard. O_o.

~Ta-Kun's Question~

    Q: Well, my toast is very quiet, only sais "hn" or "shut up duo", and when I'm going to eat it my toast says "ninbu ryokai" (objetive localizated), and whe I see  my toast I cat eat it, because It has a sistem zero face!!!  (bandai trademark). is my toast heero? and if my toast is not heero, can my playstation game "super robot taisen alpha gaiden" (quite a long name for a game" is heero?, because i've seen heero's face on it and heard his voice, also seen his gundam.... gosh, if my toast is not heero, my game MUST BE heero...
    A: Heero is not toast. o_o. or super robot thingy long name dooohiky i-forgot-what-it's-called X_X.

~PonTelon's Question~

    Q: Have you ever seen Heero eat?  Since he is not human, we can honestly assume that he does not eat.  Since Heero does not eat, and toast does not eat, Heero must be toast. And if Heero does eat, he looks pretty healthy.  And to have a balanced meal you have to have toast.  Since you are what you eat, Heero is toast.
P.S.  If Heero is toast, is Trowa bacon? (Bacon doesn't talk either)
    A: YOU DO NOT NEED TOAST TO HAVE A BALANCED MEAL! And Trowa is not bacon, bacon is all crispy and greasey... ><.

~Ralph's Question~

    Q: One time I took my toast out of my toaster and it jumped into a mobile suit and shot me, is my toast Heero???
    A: NO! It's..um...Quatre? :p WHATEVER! IT'S NOT HEERO!

~Lee-chan's Question~

    Q: I know Heero isn't "my" toast..If he was, I wouldn't eat Heero...so....Is my Toast, perphaps from another anime? o.o; Is my Toast....Syaoran, or maybe...Meiling, or Sakura, MAYBE, Tomoyo or Eriol?! :D?!?!?!
    A: No...but Syaoran is a cutiepie!!!!
    Q: OK, Syaoran is a piece of pie (yummy)...Then what Is Heero? Is he some kind of food atleast, is he edible? And sense you know so much about.....food..and yeah..o.o is...Sakura edible like Syaoran? :D
    A: Yep. =D I am a food expert!! [O_o.] Sakura is edible, yes. ^^.

~Nicki B.'s Question~

    Q: If Heero's not toast, then why don't I eat it?
    A: Uh...I DUNNO X_X.;??!

~Nicki B.'s 2nd Question~

    Q: I believe Heero is toast because he eats it, and there Is the saying, "You  are what you eat."  Does that make him toast?
    A: HEERO NEVER EATS TOAST ><.

~Nicki B.'s 3rd Question~

    Q: I tried to delete a message from my hotmail inbox, and it un-clicked itself, does that mean Heero's toast?
    A: ARE YOU INSANE?!?!!

~Nemiko's Question~

    Q: Yamato-
    Okay, this is how it all started. This morning, I was making breakfast, and when my TOAST was done, I took it out of the toaster and put it on a plate. After that, I turned my back to the TOAST to get some butter. From about a 2-yard distance, I heard a quiet gunshot like noise and the feeling of a pushpin poking my back. I turned around, shocked at what my eyes were seeing. My TOAST had stood up, spiky brown hair and Prussian blue eyes, dressed in a loose green tank top,black spandex shorts, and funny yellow shoes, pointing something that looked like a G.I.Joe gun at me! That's when it hit me. Is this TOAST Heero? No, it can't be. TOAST dies, Heero doesn't. So I went over to the TOAST and started to put butter on it anyway. Still baffled at what exactly I saw, I wondered if maybe that other piece of toast I left in the toaster was Duo! Well there wasn't too much time to think about that, the Heero TOAST started shooting at me and chasing me around my house shouting, "Omae O Korusu!!" I quickly made it upstairs and locked the toast in the bathroom for my own safety. ARE YOU SURE MY TOAST ISN'T HEERO!?!?!?!
    A: Yes. =)

[another page of nothing but questions!]
Heero is not Toast [& Other Gundam Wing Facts]
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heero and the other gundam wing stuff here aren't MINE, dammit. they're [c] someone else. toast is also not mine. ><. moron.
but the art and the layout ARE mine. all mine. no takee. no takee and all will be toastee.