a note: yes, these are all authentic, sent in through email and AIM. i try to put every question i get sent up here, but if you don't see yours, don't hate me! i'm just busy and probably missed it. i don't reply to your question emails, either: i just answer here. got it? good. newer questions at the bottom.

~Erika's Question~
    Q: Well, one day I was making toast( duh), and when I put it on the frying pan( I prefer to use that over a toaster, even if I have one), but it refused to cook. so i kept it on for another hour, but it STILL didn't cook, nor did it burn. So i gave up and threw it away, but it fell on the floor & then it got a little toy gun & said "Omae O Korousu( Is that how you say it?) and tried to shoot me. Is it heero?
    A: *confused* no?!

~Yaeko's Question~
    Q: So, even though Heero isn't toast, may I still put peanut butter on him?
    A: Of course! Who wouldn't, if they had the chance?

~SaiyanDance's Question~
    Q: Can you actually PROVE with a GOOD reason that Heero is not Toast??? I don't think so!!!
    A: ...you're stupid. Haha, your name is Saiyan Dance. That's as stupid as you. And your face is stupid. So is yo mama. And yo dog. And yo cat!!

~Elvengirl's Question~
    Q: Ok, so I know that my toast isn't Heero, but if for some reason Heero started to think he was toast, could we call him toast then? It isn't really a good idea to disagree with Heero, you could get killed or something.
    A: As long as you're a little girl with light coloured hair, you'll be okay. Just remind him of Mary the puppy from Endless Waltz and he'll run away every time without killing you ^_^. Everyone else is doomed, because Heero is not toast.

~Silver Vixen's Question~
    Q: I was driving along yesterday and I saw Heero running away from Relena. But I wanted to give him a hug so I parked the car and glomped him! But he just looked over my shoulder and growled, "Shit. She's almost here...I'm toast!" I was very confused...Heero said he was toast! So, Yamato, you better give me a good answer cause the loony long blond haired and silver masked nut case next door is riping his straitjacket apart again...and the nurse won't let me out until I stop mumbling about toast...
    A: Okay, I hope everyone understands that Heero Is Not Toast the NOUN. Not the adjective...

~Valued Customer's Question~
    Q: My toast died. It just... dropped dead. Can Heero come to the funeral?
    A: Of COURSE he can.

~Musashi's Question~
    Q: Yamato, i read your arguments and am now fully convinced that my toast is not Heero. Unfortunately, My toast yesterday was driving around in a pink Barbie-type car and begging me to kill her. Is it at all possible that my toast is relena?
    A: I think it was just a Barbie who dreamed of being Relena.
...
*shudder*

~Reanna's Question~
    Q: Did you ever notice that in Gundam Wing we never see Heero and a piece of toast in the same shot. Do you think an alter-ego theory is plausible and if so, which is the true form and which is the alter-ego?
    A: We never see toast at ALL!!! Doi...

~Reanna's 2nd Question~
    Q: Recently I met Heero, and I was quite honored up until he said,"Greetings. I am toast." I'm so confused! What just happened?
    A: Eh... he was on drugs.

~Lee's Question~
    Q: Here's what happened.... This morning... my toast got out of the toaster, and just left.. It didn't come back to really late that night. It just walked on into my room.. It
stole my Duo plushie, murdered all ten of my Relena Voodo dolls, raided my gun closet, AND clothes closet takign spandex shorts and a tank top. It stole my laptop, kept muttering 'Omae o korosu', walked out the front door after taking the car keys, and drove away! The next day, it came back again in Wing Zero, and just started to repair the gundam in my basement....... Can you really tell me my toast is NOT Heero!?
    A: You liar.

~Krys Shinomori's Question~
    Q: One time, I started to poke this piece of toasted bread with a knife and
it suddenly put a gun to my head and said "Omae o korosu." Is it Heero or did
my toast just turn into "The Evil Bread of Death"??
    A: Evil Bread of Death.

~Krys Shinomori's 2nd Question~
    Q: If Heero was somehow turned into a slice of bread by some magic wizard person thingy, then be put into a toaster, and then be warmed up for five or so minutes... Would he be toast now or would still not... be... toast?? Does it depend if I put butter or cream cheese or whatever on this piece of bread? What if there was a topping called "Green Tanktop and Black Spandex Shorts" and I put it on this toasted piece of bread?? o_0
    A:

~Sadie's Question~
    A: I shot my toast. Am I Heero?
    Q: I'm starting to think my site is screwing up people's minds. And this proves it.

~Yasha [queen of the net and toast]'s Question~
    Q: SO YAMMY?
If you think heero isn't toast,then why is toast hot and buttery, and heero makes evreyone all hot and buttery?Toast tastes good with cream cheese and Heero tastes good with cream cheese, and both are a good way to start your day? Also, I think RElena IS bacon because her personality is crispy and she's all greasy!!! EEWWIIEE!!are you sure heero isn't at least French toast?MMMMMMMMMMMMM NUMMY!Frenchi toastie!^_^ IF he isn't that either than he has to be honey nut cheerio's 'cause Duo's Honey........and... UUUUUHHHH...,you get the drift!0.0  please.PLEASE, clear this up for me....I got isSUES o_0
P.S. say hi, to duo plushie for me!
    A: Being buttery and making people buttery is completely different. Relena is bacon. Duo plush loves all.

~Bestkid810's Question~
    Q: My cat has a long braid, wears black cloths, and carrys a big scythe. Is he Duo?
    A: He's a Duo wannabe.

~Kat, Evan, and Tig's Many, Many Question~
    Kat:     Q: What if, by some strange twist of time and space, Heero became a piece of toast... Then he is toast, right!?
    A: That will not happen. So, no.

    Kat:     Q: What if in another dimension Heero is Toast.. Would he still be Toast or be considered Toast to us?
    A: He would not be considered toas to us. In the other dimension, toast might mean Gundam Pilot. Then he is toast. See?

    Tig:     Q: What if... Heero was Duo, and Duo is toast. Then is Heero toast?
    A: Heero is not Duo.

    Kat:     Q: What if Heero and a piece of toast's personalities got switched in a freak accident.. would Heero be Toast then?
    A: He would be Heero in toast's body.

    Tig:     Q: What if Heero and toast mated? What will the child be? Toast, or Heero?
    A: It would be Hteoearsot.

    Kat:     Q: I just looked up toast in my dictionary and there was a picture of Heero there.. Is Toast Heero?!
    A: You did not.

    Evan:   Q: What if Heero actually died and was reincarnated as a piece of toast?
    A: You don't reincarnate as food.

    Tig:     Q: What if, Duo cheated  on Heero with toast, and the only way to win him back was to become toast. What will happen?
    A: No.

    Kat:     Q: What if we hypnotized Herro to think he was toast.. Would Heero be toast?
    A: No. He would be a moron.

    Kat:     Q: What if toast became evil and brainwashed everyone to make us think it was Heero.. Would Heero be Toast?
    A: No. We would be morons.

    Kat:     Q: If God says Heero is Toast.. X.o is it true?
    A: Depends on your religion. If you're Christian, yes. If you're Jewish, only if the real Messiah shows up. If you're Muslim, only if Mohammed says. If you're Atheist, you could give a rat's ass.

    Tig:     Q: What happeneds if God makes Heero die, is he then toast?
    A: Heero can't die.

    Kat:     Q: If Heero and Relena switched bodys.. would Heero be toast because Relena is toast since neither has friends?
    A: No, he would be really ugly, though.

    Tig:     Q: What if Heero wanted to become toast?.. Would he be toast?
    A: No, he would be mental.

    Evan:   Q: What if Heero is burnt along with a piece of toast and his ashes mix with that of the toast's, then would he be toast?
    A: Burning two things together so they become ash does not meld them into one. It just melds them into lots of little ashies sitting side by side.

    Kat:     Q: OKay.. so Heero isn't toast.. But what if he was Cinnimon Toast Crunch? Wouldn't Heero be toast?
    A: No, he'd been tasty cinnimon sprinkled onto bite sized squares. Part of this complete breakfast.

    Evan:   Q: What If I went back in time and genetically engineered Heero to be toast, then would he be toast?
    A: You can't. :p

    Kat:     Q:What if Toast is my friend? Since Heero has friends too, could the toast be considered Heero-like?
    A: No.

    Tig:     Q: What if Heero kills all his friends? Would he be toast like since he has no friends?
    A: No.

    Kat:     Q: What if, God forbid, Heero and Relena had a kid? Would that child be toast?
    A: No, it would probably grow up tramatized from seeing it's mother's face too much, though.

    Tig:     Q: If Relena saw toast, and both of them joined forces to make Heero toast by tieing him up and shoving him into a toaster so that he won't try to kill them, would heero be toast?
    A: Heero doesn't fit in a toaster.

    Tig:     Q: What if toast was indestrutable?... Would it be Heero then?
    A: No. It would be stale.

    Kat:     Q: What if Heero dressed up as toast for Halloween, wouldn't Heero be toast?
    A: Moron.

    Tig:     Q: What if Heero and toast both turned into digimon, and DNA digivolved into Toast-Heeromon Would Heero be toast?
    A: No. They would be easily defeated by the Digimon Emporer, though. What a weak combination.

    Kat:     Q: Since we've never seen Heero eat, and it could be assumed he doesn't have to, because the perfect solder isn't worn down by hunger, would Heero be toast because toast also doesn't eat?
    A: Toast is already food. Heero is not food, unless ...nevermind.

    Tig:     Q: If Heero is a complete breakfast, what if he had no arms or legs, and he was an incomplete breakfast? And he was so incomplete, he was only a very small portion of breakfast..so small he could be TOAST?!?!?!
    A: Heero is a complete breakfast no matter what.

~The Retard Avenger's Question~
    Q: My toast has always thought it was Heero, but I showed it your site the other day and it totally lost it. It threw a big fit, getting butter all over my monitor. After it came to its senses, it decided it must be the opposite of Heero, which is Relena. I can't get it to act like normal toast again. Please help!!
    A: It can be rather tramatizing to discover you are Relena. However, is it truely Relena? I'll gladly take it off your hands for you. We are a bit low on them over in the chamber.

~A's Question~
    Q: In a previous question, I saw that someone managed to proove that Heero
was bread, if not toast. However, if Heero is bread, and you put the
Heerobread into a toaster, it becomes toast and Heero seperatly..
Ithought that if Heero was bread, then when bread became toast, Heero
would become...toasted Heero. Is that true?
    A: Try putting Heero in a toaster and see if its EVEN POSSIBLE.
        ....it's not, by the way...

~Omarvizkel's Question~
    Q: Q: A few years ago I got some toast in Japan. I looked at it today and it had some green stuff on it that looked like a shirt, brown hair, and it shot me. I'm confused. Is it Heero?
    A: That was mold, fool. M - O - L - D!!!! And it did not shoot you! You just imagined it... you were drunk! Yah, that's it!

~kill_relena's Question~
    Q: please tell me if trowa is toast!!!!! i have several reasons why i think he is toast!!!!!! if you want those reasons, TELL ME!!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!
    A: Uh... O_o. yes?

~Don's Question~
    Q: I know for a fact that my toster is Duo. It kills lots of stuff, dogs, cats and small children. One day i put bread in the toaster does that mean bread is Heero?
    A: You sad, disillusioned people...heero is not toast, although he might be bread, duo is NOT a toaster and that is why you're a moron. Yes?

~Daneez's Question~
    Q: What if Heero fails Mr. Somerkamp's math class? Then is he toast? I'm pretty sure that he would be toast if he failed. Mr. Somerkamp scares me. So would he be toast? Or is Mr. Somerkamp the toast and trying to convert others to his evil toast ways? Just asking. ^_^
    A: No, then he would be not-a-college-bound-kid, would he now.

~The Animequeens' Questions [an argument in which i had no part]~
    Q:  The other day, my toast went beserk while under the influence of the Zero System (you know, the things that glow yellow?)
    A:  Uh, no that's butter.  Heero is not toast.
    Q: But, I thought if my toast went beserk, it would be Heero.
    A: (No, that's Eva Unit 00!  Wrong series!)
    Q: Oh, but my toast wears GREEN SPANDEX!
    A:  Stop putting clothes on your toast in an attempt to make it into Heero.  It doesn't work.

~Meteor's Question~
    Q: If Heero isn't toast is he a squirrel?
*insert coughing* Say yes and Die O.o
>>;
Er..
    A: If he had a big bushy tail and leapt through the trees like a starved, hyperactive nut loving monkey... then yes.

~Ghost of the Dawn's Question~
    Q: If Heero is inside a Gundam when it self-descructs...is he toast?
    A: I think we all know the answer to this one already.

~J's Question~
    Q: Hey! I think your site is so cool! But I have a question.. If you don't think Heero is toast why do you make a whole site on how he isn't toast..unless you have so doubts about him being, yourself.
    A: BECAUSE...............................UM..........................SHUT UP!

~Nicki's Question~
    Q: Um...okay...I had an egg, some cheese, and toast yesterday, and it was DAMN good!  Well, while I was eating it, it pulled out a gun and aimed it at me!  Then it said, "Omae o korosu." Like a real Heero!  Then I bit it, and it stopped.
    A: You're silly. Even if that WAS Heero, he wasn't TOAST, he was an egg and cheese sandwich. [rolls eyes] You people...

~Nicki's 2nd Question~
    Q: You know that sandwich I mentioned?  I had a nightmare last night, where the sandwich pulled out a scythe and chopped my head off...was that Heero?  Or like I think, was it Duo?
    A: If it wasn't a NIGHTMARE [aka] IT WASNT REAL then it would have been Duo, yes.

~Nicki's 3rd Question~
    Q: What if my toast shapeshifts into Heero?  then is it him?
    A: No. It's still toast. It just LOOKS like Heero. -_-...

~Justin's Question~
    Q: My toast was seen killing you yesterday.  Is my toast Heero?
    A: I...I'm dead? ;_;.

~Evan's Question~
    Q: My name is Evan, and i wounder, if heer is not toast then how come a peice of toast was holding a gun to my sisters head saying that it was going to kill her?
    A: Because that toast doesn't like your sister. :p

~Ky and Kea's Question~
    Q: Ky: ... So.. is he my Instant Miso Soup? You my pizza is Duo(It has a braid 0.o) When I was eating my Duo pizza the Instant Miso Soup came out and attacked, it was mad cuz I started eating Duo. It said 'Omae O Koruso' and held a gun to my head. It also has little peices of green clothe in it. Is my Instand Miso Soup Heero?
Kea: Wai! She's eating Duo!! ;.;
Ky: He's tasty! So is Heero! Nummers....
Kea: Is not! *whaps Ky* Oh, and she forgot to say that Heero-the-Instant-Miso-Soup wanders around naked in front of Duo-the-Cheese-Pizza!
Ky: Pizza! Yummy :) ~licks lips and pats stomach~ I'm gonna go eat my instant miso soup now.
Kea: Nooo! *wails* Poor guys!
Ky: So, Yamato, is my Instant Miso Soup Heero? It keeps hiding when ever my Relena-Coke-Can comes by..... Repena Leacecraft 0.o
Kea: Um..yeah...
    A: I think so. O_o.;;

~Suboshi's Question~
    Q: Dalde kisama?!?!?!
What he meant to say is: one day I saw duo screwing toast and making funny noises. Can someone please tell me whether that was heero or if duo has a strange sexual fetish? I'm looking for a date. is heero open?
    A: I LOVE SUBOSHI! HE'S THE PYSCHO YO-YO BOY OF LUUUV! And um...Duo is just strange ^^.;

up to the top

heero and the other gundam wing stuff here aren't MINE, dammit. they're [c] someone else. toast is also not mine. ><. moron.
but the art and the layout ARE mine. all mine. no takee. no takee and all will be toastee.