heero's not toast. and the other boys aren't anything, either! =D these were all sent in by you, the fans, so be proud! i do almost no work for this part. YOU DO IT ALL! doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that you helped make this site better?!

Why Wufei is not...

---

~Kleenex~
by +silverdeath+

i prolaim that wufei is not...
KLEENEX!
w.i.n.k WINK! arn't i clever? but i have other reasons too... i think...
Smartness
~wu-chan~ he is... after all... a very bright young boy... ^-^ he was the smartest on his colony after all... and that's why he was chosen to marry nataku... the "strongest" in her clan... ^-^ but wu-chan was stronger... heh heh
~kleenex~
... it's a piece of thin paper that people blow their nose on... not too many brain waves being processed here...
Stuff
~wufei~ ^-^ can do lots of stuff... like piolet his gundam and shoot people (or should that be stab... hn.) and can insult people! yatta!
~kleenex~ can't do anything but sit in it's sad sad cardboard box and cry cause pretty damn soon it's a-goin in the trash can full of snot and carrots and other things people tend to stuff up their noses... such as random passing elves... poor elves. and no, a kleenex cannot insult people. it has no mouth appendage. it can't speak. it has no middle finger. it has no... other insulting stuff... unless you think that a poor defenceless piece of tissue paper is somehow insulting... but i have known a few arrogant ones... >.< they're annoying...
Coolness
~wufei~... is cool. very cool. need i say more? no. i thought not. don't question me!
~kleenex~... is not cool.  really not cool. need i say more? yes onna! explain this kleenex's lack-o-coolness (tm)um... otay. it just sits there waiting for you to put your nose waste in it for crist's sake`! IT IS NOT COOL!
Final Proof
~wu-chan~ = cool and insulting
~kleenex~ = not cool and not insulting...
and sometimes... we just need to be insulted ne? ^_~

Wufei is not a waffle, or so says my friend, great fan of Wu-man. My friends and I all have characters that we "are"(We got bored, ok?). I'm Duo, my other two friends are Heero and Wufei. Point being is that one day when trying ot anoy my friend we were calling her all of wufei's nicknames (mostly given by duo, that pop up in fanfics everywhere) and I said "wuffle" and for no apparent reason, I said "waffle" right afterwards, and so wufei was dubbed prince waffle, well, just plain waffle acually, bu anyway. It seemed to anoy her and we coninue to call her that to this day. She, of course, does not think Wufei is a waffle, and when we mentioned the Triaze was Syrup, well, anyway....
Point is that I will get to gether with them and fingur out reasons why Wufei isn't a waffle....and possibly why Traize isn't syrup. Anyhow, I just was bored and wanted to let you know before it's acually done for no apparent reason.

Death-
Wufei:DOES DIE-at the hands of feminists.
Woman:Dies, but has a better funeral.

Abilities-
Wufei:Can kick your ass with Nataku. Can also insult women to the extent where they will get their OWN Nataku and kick HIS ass.
Woman:Can shop, put on make-up, flirt, drive, and cat fight. Take that!

Friends-
Wufei:Has none. Unless you'd like to count inanimate objects.
Woman:Has many. See her list of phone numbers for proof.

Clothes-
Wufei:Has very cool Chinese clothes. But sadly, he only has one set of them. Note the huge laundry bill that he has been neglecting.
Woman:Nice, big wardrobe. Keeps up with the fashions of the time.

.JUSTICE.
Wufei
likes to rant about justice.  Likes to defend justice in his Gundam.
Likes anything having to do with justice in general.
Kamquat
does not know what justice is.  Does not like to rant about justice.
Cannot defend justice, because kamquats do not have Gundams.

.ABILITIES.
Wufei
can insult women and talk to his dead wife.  He can also ride a
motorcycle, meditate, and lose sword matches to scary men with forked
eyebrows.  Wufei is very funny to insult.
Kamquat
cannot insult women or talk to dead wives.  Maybe they can meditate
though.  No one really knows.  Have a funny name, but are not funny to
insult.  Kamquats will not try to kill you no matter how much you make
fun of them.  And people may think you're a little peculiar if they
catch you trying.

.FRIENDS.
Wufei
does not have very many friends. Women are not his friends.  Weaklings
are not his friends.  Zechs is not his friend.  Treize might have been
his friend maybe, except he's dead.  Duo would be his friend if he ever
stopped teasing him.  Heero would be his friend if he did anything but
glare at everything and say 'Hn'.  Trowa is Wufei's friend because
Quatre is Wufei's friend, and Quatre is Wufei's friend because Quatre is
everybody's friend.  He even has a song that says so.
Kamquat
does not have very many friends, either.  Maybe you like to eat them or
drop them off tall buildings and make them go splat, but this does not
make you their friend.  Neither does this make you a weakling, however.
If you tried to eat Wufei or drop him off a tall building, you would be
a weakling.  And you would definitely not be his friend.

.CLOTHES.
Wufei
wears clothes. Sometimes he wears a white coat and puffy white pants.
Sometimes he takes off the coat and wears a tanktop instead.  Sometimes,
when he is feeling particularly naughty, he joins the Marimeia army to
make trouble for the other Gundam pilots and wears the Marimeia
uniform.  But he always wears his hair in a ponytail.
Kamquat
wears no clothes.  Would look very silly if they did.  Do not wear white
coats or puffy white pants, do not wear tanktops, cannot join the
Marimeia army.  And they never wear their hair in ponytails.

Death
Wufei -Can die, although for some strange reason he hasn't died yet. Someone up there just doesn't like me...*kidding! ^-^*
Women- Can also die, but not from fighting losing sword battles with Trieze, and then trying to drown themselves later.

Abilities
 Women: Can protest against people for their rights, and bitch like hell when they fail. They CAN and WILL be able to pilot any kind of Mobile Suit (Go Noin!)...they just have to learn how first...
Wufei: Says he's weak and not worth all of Nataku's fine glory when he doesn't succeed, thus Wufei can never be a woman. He does know how to fight with a mobile suit, and quite well I might add.
--And Women are weak!-- *whacks Wufei with a well buttered piece of toast -which is NOT Heero-* Quiet You....

Friends
Wufei: Has.....friends....he had that Dragon Clan!... They're kind of dead, but who really cares ^-^.  I guess the other gundam pilot's are his friends.
Women: Have many many friends. They go shopping and kick boxing together. Many fun and memorable moments are shared...*wipes tear away at corner of eye*

Clothes
Wufei: Wears one little Chinese outfit, which looks a bit different if you take the white chief top off. Which he probably cleans in rivers or lakes. Where he also bathes himself *is selling the maps to these such rivers to Wufei fans for $99.99*
Women: Have many many clothes. Many MANY clothes. many Many MAN- Okay, you get the point.

Death-
Wufei: No, we haven't seen little ol' Wu-chan die YET, but, hey, he could die
if a piece of sushi goes down the wrong way in his throat, and then our dear
little Chinese-Japanese food-eating-friend could very well die...
Sushi: Well..Yes, food does in a way die. Just look at what happens when you
put it in your mouth- Your sharp teeth grind it into itty-bitty peices, and
then you swallow it, and it gets all mushy in your tummy, and then, you need
to go to the bathroom...and then...okay.we won't go any farther than that...
>.<;;
Sushi Box: Yes, they do die, and can be reincarnated. If you decide to
recycle your cute little plastic Gundam Wing sushi box ((which, i cannot
imagine ANYONE doing THAT!)) it gets recylced, and made into other things-
Maybe another sushi box!

Abilities-
Wufei: Hey, he may have a ponytail, but that sure doesn't mean he can't KICK
SOME ARSE!!! Just look! He's got Nataku! ::pointpoints to the chink's gundam::
Sushi: They just sit in their little sushi box. They can make you wanna eat
them, crave for them, and they just look oh-so-cute in their little sushi
box! :D
Sushi Box: They just look so darn cute when you wanna buy one in a little
sanrio store! They make you wanna look at the little charries and funny
things all over the box, and how cute it is!! :D

Friends-
Wufei: Well, sorry to break the news to you minna...No one likes Wu-chan...
;_; (In the series, at least! :D)
Sushi: Has many friends- like the man who makes sushi- the sushi roll man.
Hey, he created it, didn't he? However, sushi has enemies, as well..Such as
us, and our sharp teeth! >.<;;
Sushi Box: Has many! People who love to enjoy drawing sushi boxes, or
desinging sushi boxes, or just loove collecting them are their best friends!

Clothes-
Wufei: Has some of the things that not even Versaci could make. ^.~
Sushi: They are really cooked rice with some veggies, wearing nothing but a
moist peice of wrapped around seaweed.
Sushi Box: Well...they are naked..Except they try to hide it with all of the
little characters on it.

Wufei is not cheese because Wufei prances around in his holy Nataku all day....and cheese does not. XD!!

DEATH:
Wufei- Can die, but since no one can beat his kick ass Gundam, I think the
chances are slim
Relena- Can die, and will die, when I get my hands on her! (Yay!)

ABILITIES:
Wufei- Can pilot his kick ass Gundam, might be able to beat me in a
swordfight (yeah, right), can endure have his head sqeezed by his tight assed
ponytail, can manage to look evil in that sucky Mareimaia soldier's outfit
(gag!), can drive a motorcycle down a mountain, can manage to talk down to
people even though he's shorter, can put up with Relena for a short period of
time (I still wanna know how he does that!), and NEVER wore a dress in his
LIFE! (If you think that, you don't know him very well.)
Relena- Couldn't pilot a lawn mower, wouldn't be able to beat me at
Candyland, would look fruity with a ponytail (like Wufei doesn't!?!), I don't
even WANT to imagine her in a Mareimaia soldier's outfit (shudders), couldn't
drive a Hot Wheels down a banister, can't talk to anyone, becasue they'd tune
her out or shoot her ass anyway, and wears dresses. (That's the only thing
she CAN do, except get on your every last nerve and start jumping up and down
and hacking at it with a chainsaw!)

FRIENDS-
Wufei- He and Heero never tried to kill each other, I'd say that's a good
basis for friendship (YOU don't KNOW that), he and Quatre both drink tea, so
they have something in common, both he and Trowa can put up with Relena for a
short amount of time (I STILL don't know how he does that!), and he and
Duo...hate each other, but that's not the point! (-_-;;;)
Relena- Well...she and Dorothy can be friends!

CLOTHES-
Wufei- He wears that kinda okayish Chinese-style outfit with the cool shirt
underneath, and he also wears that Boy Scout-looking Mareimaia soldier's
outfit, and then that kick-ass Preventer's outfit, and I noticed he has a
nice ass for a chauvanistic pig.
Relena- She wears dresses. 'Nuff said.
Think I'm wrong??? Go ahead and E-mail me!!! The address is:
akikohime13@aol.com

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heero and the other gundam wing stuff here aren't MINE, dammit. they're [c] someone else. toast is also not mine. ><. moron.
but the art and the layout ARE mine. all mine. no takee. no takee and all will be toastee.